3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
