Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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