I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
