i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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