why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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