she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
