She's JV to your varsity
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
