You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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