I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
smell my finger.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
