I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
