Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
