just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
