Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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