You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just blew my weed a kiss
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
