is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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