there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize