Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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