those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
When are your genitals available?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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