no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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