what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
