**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
