Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
