my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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