we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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