After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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