You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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