I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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