it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
