You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
