The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
