Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
