i think my mom watched the whole time
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize