Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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