a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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