how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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