what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Randomize
