Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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