I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize