I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
