I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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