I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
