her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
