You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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