More tranny stories later!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
