omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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