is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
