dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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