happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
