To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize