My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
