And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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