my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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