My liver just broke up with me...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
3 2 1 whiskey
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Drake has all the answers
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
