I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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