Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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