I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
