Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize