If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
