until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
