I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
