Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He had one of those small greek statue penises
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
