it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
