I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
