He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
