Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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