My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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