I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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