you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
