Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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